Never before have i felt like this...

I cried at work today.

I tried my hardest not to.

I actually cried at work.

I have never had a job that made me this upset. Only once in my life have i felt this powerless, futile and out of control and i cried then.

I cried at work today

No matter how i say it, there has to be something wrong.

^{I cried at work today}

Looking at it now and feeling more numb than i did earlier, it doesn't seem to mean anything to me anymore. There are too many factors adding up at the moment. I have so many things that can make me happy in my life but there is one thing that is ruining it all.

I have a new female friend. We are a lot alike. We are getting on in ways i never saw myself ever doing again with another human being. We are being kept apart by my job. I am being made to feel wretched nearly every minute of every day by this job. Every aspect of it is killing me. I have gained all the experience it can give me, or rather all the experience i want to take from it. I could improve my sales technique, i could make my boss thousands of appointments but i can't. Because i don't want to.

I hate the people i work for, i hate everything they love, everything they work for, everything they believe in. I am not prepared to make myself like them. I am a funny, intelligent, creative, caring and loving human being. These people do not know this, they don't want to know it, they just want me to make appointments for my boss, who visits customers, who give money to the people i work for. I do not want to do this, they do not deserve me, they do not recognise or deserve my talents, i fucking hate them and their smug, self satisfied lives.

I...

Cried...

At...

Work...

Today............................................................................................................