It's gonna take time, a whole lot of Precious Time.

I've just had an epiphany. Well, i had it whilst urinating at work. Not on my desk or in the office, in the toilet. I thought about the last girl i had been trying to impress. At some stage i ended up with a guitar in my hands. As is ever the way, people always say "Play something we can sing". And i always fail miserably to recall anything they'd know. Usually because i don't actually know what they know and people are oddly reticent to suggest.

What i did in front of one of my old school friends, whom i recently met up with - partly the thanks must go to Friends Reunited, but it was before i'd paid my fiver. So Hah! I put 2 and 2 together i.e. saw which company he worked for then checked their website for the way his company write their email address. Voila! Anyway, what i did was played his acoustic guitar, i played a couple of my own songs. He sat awestruck (maybe too strong a word, bemused maybe) he really dug it though. When his mate came round for a bit, he made me play it to him too.

My epiphany, you see. Is that i don't do it in front of the peole i really want to impress. Now, don't get me wrong, i was as keen to impress my old friend as i would be to impress you. (whoever you are) But i didn't do it in front of a girl.

I've heard people like Billy Joel talk about how he pulled women by playing the piano. I am an artist. People should only have to understand me through my art. Or rather, i think i'd prefer people to understand me through my music, instead of by talking to me. The more time i spend in the company of women, the more i talk. The more i talk, the less attractive i become. Whereas, the music i create is something people like. Some of my lyrics are as anti-capitalist ranty, as some of my thoughts and beliefs. Yet, these are conveyed with music and my voice's approximation of a tune. Perhaps they don't listen to what i say. I don't half the time.

Now what was i saying?

Bigmouth Strikes Again.

Well i've put my foot all the way down my throat this morning and actually managed to kick my own arse. I received an email, which claimed to be from someone around the time of september the 11th 2001. It had not stopped in it's travels since then and was meant to be a eulogy to the great and the good who died. I have no problem with that. But it was badly written, didn't scan as a poem, was plagarised from many different sources and was mainly sent by some thicko somewhere to make other people weep and worry about something that did not affect them and could have been avoided. I responded, not wishing to break the chain, to all the people in my address book. I added this:

That date in the year 2001, that no one will ever let us forget does not make up for the years of repression, oppression, bombing, killing and slave labour that America still foists on us all. America kill people because they are different, they keep down people who don't want to be a part of their western world, who don't see the world the same way as them.

Our differences of culture, of background, upbringing and life experiences are what brings us together. We should unite in our differences not try and make everybody see things one way.

I am very sad for the people who lost their lives, i would be callous and in-human if i did not feel for my fellow man. But these events did not appear out of thin air.

Cultural domination, especially by such a shallow, materialist culture should not be allowed. Are you forced to work in a factory for the equivalent of a bowl of rice a day? Have America bombed your country near constantly for as long as you can remember? Does America hate you for your religious and political beliefs? No? Do you think if they had you'd view things the same way?

I love you all very much and i would hate to think anything would happen to any of you. But i cannot stand unnecessary sentiment, wallowing in pity, sentiment for sentiments sake, proving your worth through showing how much you care for people you don't know. Think of the uproar when Diana died. Do any of those thousands of people we saw on telly mourning, think about her at all anymore? The answer is no.

Love to you all.

Oliver R Tones
Resident Cynic & Reality Checker

Now, i received a reply from one person who merely said "The sense you speak boy.". Which justified to me what i had written. Yet when i arrived at work i found an email from another friend, condemning me for my comments due to a situation i was unaware of in their lives. I felt like a c**t.

So I responded:

If you believe in the human soul and anything afterwards you know that we'll all get to spend eternity in the company of the ones we love.

I'm sad to hear about your friends as i am sad to hear about the loss of life in any situation. If i'd known, do you think i would honestly have written the same email? I may be insensitive, selfish, opinionated, hypocritical but i am not knowingly callous and would never say anything to hurt or upset people i love and respect.

Life is a series of events, some good, most bad. The people who deserve to live, die young and the people who don't deserve to live, live long lives, causing suffering and unhappiness to everyone they meet. I am working my hardest to stop being the latter of the two.

This email is exact proof of how, through our actions we can cause pain and suffering. My email was not aimed at you, it was not aimed at your friends. I am sorry if i offended you and upset you through my insensitive rantings.

Sorry.