Thursday, October 23, 2003

How do you ignore being patronised?

It's something i've always worried i do when i talk to other people. I know that i don't patronise or talk to people in a condescending (sp?) fashion, i have no arrogance in me to do so. The MD of the "company" i currently work for ignores everything i say, considers it irrelevant and doesn't believe me when i say things. He doesn't find any of my humourous comments funny, he just sighs and continues with what he's saying. It's killing me, becuase he's no better than i am at anything (apart from sucking cock). He is so fucking arrogant it's beyond belief.

Over a meal with Emily last night i realised why they treat me this way. It's because they see me solely as their telesales donkey, the reason they don't recognise my talents in other fields is because they see me solely as their telesales donkey. In them seeing me this way it crushes me even more that i can't do the job, don't want to do the job and will be leaving the job. It also reduces me to something i am not. My whole image and persona for them is built round this task i have to carry out for them. Yes! i realise i was employed to fulfil this role, but i can't and as soon as i tell them so i might as well hand my notice in. Which i want to do within a week or two. Well i'd walk out today if my social conditioning and awareness of how the world works stops me from doing so. but to what ends should we go to seek happiness?

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