A Good Good Morning to you All
Hello, i imagine you came here after following the link out of the email i sent you? I do hope so. There's not much here as yet, i only started it yesterday. But what there is please enjoy. If you know me, none of it will come as a surprise, except for the odd few sentences that still amaze me. The extract below will one day end up in a book, i intend to write one about the modern world and how it will be the death of the human race if we don't get our arses into gear. When i heard that in Britain alone we produce 50,000 new cars a year, i nearly died. What the F**k is the Point?
But thats by the by. I had my second band practice last night. It was great. Luke on Bass, John the drummer, me shouting and screaming and our friend Andy embarrasing me on the guitar. You'd be amazed, i know i was. I've actually found a really good reason for living, my new job bites, which is upsetting me a great deal, but playing music live is incredible. We could get on stage now and still wow people, but we're gonna jam a hell of a lot more before that! Though i will let you know when it's happening, so you can all come see me.
One particular song works so well, it will make you wanna dance, like Fool's Gold (yeah right...)
Here's the words:
The Cloudbank has no deposit to make today/The Sun tingles on my arms like it's been so long away
Do I miss the melancholy of all those rainy days/Or is it just your beauty, that keeps me in a daze
To want to give love
Is to want to keep on living
To get love back is why we're born
Never one to enjoy feeling without purpose/Freedom got to run deeper than the surface
The names we give things so untrue and unstable/The truth is something we can never ever label
To want to give love
Is to want to keep on living
To get love back is why we're born
Friday, August 29, 2003
Thursday, August 28, 2003
Here's a formless rant i wrote a few days into my new job (not that that has a great deal to do with it)....
Remember when you were young / You shone like the sun / Shine on you crazy diamond
Now there's a look in your eyes / Like black holes in the sky / Shine on you crazy diamond
Remember when you were young / We had so much fun / Shine on you crazy diamond
Perhaps it was just that you’re naïve and innocent outlook that left you unaware of responsibility, repercussion and retribution?
A perspective free from the evil and hatred, that exists deep within us. The evil that can take years to manifest, can take years of repression, and still not surface. Waiting for the one straw, slowly floating toward the earth, to fall effortlessly onto the dromedary of your personality.
Are humans naturally evil, or is it merely an invention of ours to help delineate the good from the bad, and from the ugly?
Humans are, under the surface mostly, animals; we eat, sleep, f**k and s**t. Any other activity is that which our civilization/culture has created to divert us from the truths: we eat, sleep, f**k, s**t then die. No other animals take the time out to consider these things, as they’re too busy doing them. Not attempting to analyse how they do it, or more importantly, why they do.
We’re told it’s because they don’t have the capacity for it, this is perhaps true, but is as verifiable as it is unverifiable. Who’s going to ask a sparrow whether it’s happy with its lot?
I think these thoughts at a million hertz per second, faster than any computer, emotions swirling around my opinions, forming them and shaping them, directing them to my mouth. Conviction forces my vocal intonation into patterns I can’t control, I sound angry or sad or ecstatic. I can control these things but that takes analysis, the ability to think as I speak, about what I am saying.
Put me in front of a girl who I find incredibly attractive and all that goes out the window. My analysis goes into overdrive, I start to doubt why anything I could say could really interest this girl, or how my life could appear exciting to them. I can analyse the way I say things, as clearly and carefully as I could before, I just can’t find the words to say nor the questions to ask.
I spent three years in the study of the Media and Culture. Over that time irrespective of what I was being taught, the Media started to gain a new prominence in our lives. It started to invade our newspapers, our local news shows, the internet, and our magazines. Magazines, which up until more recently catered for hobbies and interests and diverting activities that took us out of the drudgery of our day-to-day life. Now we’re supposed to believe that adoration of celebrity is a hobby, that it is an interest, which should free us from the mundanity of our lives. Yet it doesn’t, it merely serves to underline the difference between us all, those who have and those who have not. Those who want it and those who don’t.
Hollywood has always produced stars. The ones from the golden age of cinema, as in it’s beginning to the late sixties, were global names. People who you shared deep escapist fantasies with, sat in the darkness, watching them, feeling voyeuristic either consciously or not. Beautiful people in exquisite environs living dramatic lives, the like of which normal people could only dream. But that was the beauty of it, the lives the stars led were unattainable, the products they used, the places they ate, where they holidayed; all were too expensive for an average working person. Now though, through cheap sponsorship, clothing deals with high street stores, product placement, many of the stars connotations are available to buy into. To use the same hair product of your favourite star is to become them, feel closer to them, and try to see life from their point of view.
As humans we learn jealousy and desire very soon. As children there will always be the rich child, the one who’s parents unfailingly give them everything they could ever desire, except love. It is into this world of possessions that we are thrust, we are told to work our lives away in order to make the end of our lives more enjoyable. We work for 40 years so we can die comfortably in the last 20. When are faculties are going, our bodies complain at us, our feelings are desensitised by years of world famine and war; we are expected to holiday and gallivant as if we are young once again. We get to the end of our lives with only symbols to show for it. We own our houses, having enslaved ourselves just to say it is ours. We have a new car every few years, why don’t they build them to last? The same for computers, every day they increase in power and usefulness, but what does that help us to achieve, what more can we do simply because we can do it faster? Soon computers will be reaching speeds where every improvement is imperceptible to human eyes. What good will that do us, what purpose can it serve?
I have been alive now for 24 years. In the quarter century I have been alive the world has turned faster than ever before. Between 1970 and the end of the 80’s we achieved all we could hope to on this planet. Since that time, we have done nothing new. No massive leaps in healthcare have occurred, the reason being of course that Pharmaceutical companies seek only one thing: profit. They fund research into drugs they know they’ll be able to market, they control intellectual copyright on drugs that save lives, milking the needy for all they can. They force massive spending – in this country – by the NHS, who cannot afford the prices. When the health service cannot afford certain treatments, those who can go to private healthcare companies, thus undermining the whole public sector.
Which is of course a theme that began with Thatcher and Reagan. Their belief was that people should be able to do what they want; it is the right of the individual to make their own choices. It is the individuals right to die if they cannot afford healthcare. It is the individuals right to starve if they cannot work. It is the individuals right to be fired if they do not agree with their company’s ill treatment of their workers. It is the right of the individual to trample all over others on their way to the top.
Yet there is no progress. Companies only sell us what their research tells them we’ll buy. Where is the good in that? A company creates a great new product, but it still only does what its predecessor could do, it’s just in a more friendly box/case/chassis etc. 50,000 new cars are made in Britain every year, surely we should assume that 50,000 cars go off the road in the same year? We’d be wrong. At that rate, surely over 50 years, there would be more cars than people, more cars than roads, more cars than ground to cover. What is wrong with the world today? Whose logic dictates that we must constantly produce items for leisure, time saving, and transport. Does the amount of money made by car companies mirror the investment in Public transport, or do car companies have no interest in Public transportation? No because they seek only one thing: larger profits for their shareholders. Do these shareholders seek more money to plough into charities or public services? No they only need money to have more money, like power, money corrupts all those who it touches. People want to hoard it, to feel they’ve achieved something; money is a tangible measure, a simple system of tokens that show us how successful we are.
Remember when you were young / You shone like the sun / Shine on you crazy diamond
Now there's a look in your eyes / Like black holes in the sky / Shine on you crazy diamond
Remember when you were young / We had so much fun / Shine on you crazy diamond
Perhaps it was just that you’re naïve and innocent outlook that left you unaware of responsibility, repercussion and retribution?
A perspective free from the evil and hatred, that exists deep within us. The evil that can take years to manifest, can take years of repression, and still not surface. Waiting for the one straw, slowly floating toward the earth, to fall effortlessly onto the dromedary of your personality.
Are humans naturally evil, or is it merely an invention of ours to help delineate the good from the bad, and from the ugly?
Humans are, under the surface mostly, animals; we eat, sleep, f**k and s**t. Any other activity is that which our civilization/culture has created to divert us from the truths: we eat, sleep, f**k, s**t then die. No other animals take the time out to consider these things, as they’re too busy doing them. Not attempting to analyse how they do it, or more importantly, why they do.
We’re told it’s because they don’t have the capacity for it, this is perhaps true, but is as verifiable as it is unverifiable. Who’s going to ask a sparrow whether it’s happy with its lot?
I think these thoughts at a million hertz per second, faster than any computer, emotions swirling around my opinions, forming them and shaping them, directing them to my mouth. Conviction forces my vocal intonation into patterns I can’t control, I sound angry or sad or ecstatic. I can control these things but that takes analysis, the ability to think as I speak, about what I am saying.
Put me in front of a girl who I find incredibly attractive and all that goes out the window. My analysis goes into overdrive, I start to doubt why anything I could say could really interest this girl, or how my life could appear exciting to them. I can analyse the way I say things, as clearly and carefully as I could before, I just can’t find the words to say nor the questions to ask.
I spent three years in the study of the Media and Culture. Over that time irrespective of what I was being taught, the Media started to gain a new prominence in our lives. It started to invade our newspapers, our local news shows, the internet, and our magazines. Magazines, which up until more recently catered for hobbies and interests and diverting activities that took us out of the drudgery of our day-to-day life. Now we’re supposed to believe that adoration of celebrity is a hobby, that it is an interest, which should free us from the mundanity of our lives. Yet it doesn’t, it merely serves to underline the difference between us all, those who have and those who have not. Those who want it and those who don’t.
Hollywood has always produced stars. The ones from the golden age of cinema, as in it’s beginning to the late sixties, were global names. People who you shared deep escapist fantasies with, sat in the darkness, watching them, feeling voyeuristic either consciously or not. Beautiful people in exquisite environs living dramatic lives, the like of which normal people could only dream. But that was the beauty of it, the lives the stars led were unattainable, the products they used, the places they ate, where they holidayed; all were too expensive for an average working person. Now though, through cheap sponsorship, clothing deals with high street stores, product placement, many of the stars connotations are available to buy into. To use the same hair product of your favourite star is to become them, feel closer to them, and try to see life from their point of view.
As humans we learn jealousy and desire very soon. As children there will always be the rich child, the one who’s parents unfailingly give them everything they could ever desire, except love. It is into this world of possessions that we are thrust, we are told to work our lives away in order to make the end of our lives more enjoyable. We work for 40 years so we can die comfortably in the last 20. When are faculties are going, our bodies complain at us, our feelings are desensitised by years of world famine and war; we are expected to holiday and gallivant as if we are young once again. We get to the end of our lives with only symbols to show for it. We own our houses, having enslaved ourselves just to say it is ours. We have a new car every few years, why don’t they build them to last? The same for computers, every day they increase in power and usefulness, but what does that help us to achieve, what more can we do simply because we can do it faster? Soon computers will be reaching speeds where every improvement is imperceptible to human eyes. What good will that do us, what purpose can it serve?
I have been alive now for 24 years. In the quarter century I have been alive the world has turned faster than ever before. Between 1970 and the end of the 80’s we achieved all we could hope to on this planet. Since that time, we have done nothing new. No massive leaps in healthcare have occurred, the reason being of course that Pharmaceutical companies seek only one thing: profit. They fund research into drugs they know they’ll be able to market, they control intellectual copyright on drugs that save lives, milking the needy for all they can. They force massive spending – in this country – by the NHS, who cannot afford the prices. When the health service cannot afford certain treatments, those who can go to private healthcare companies, thus undermining the whole public sector.
Which is of course a theme that began with Thatcher and Reagan. Their belief was that people should be able to do what they want; it is the right of the individual to make their own choices. It is the individuals right to die if they cannot afford healthcare. It is the individuals right to starve if they cannot work. It is the individuals right to be fired if they do not agree with their company’s ill treatment of their workers. It is the right of the individual to trample all over others on their way to the top.
Yet there is no progress. Companies only sell us what their research tells them we’ll buy. Where is the good in that? A company creates a great new product, but it still only does what its predecessor could do, it’s just in a more friendly box/case/chassis etc. 50,000 new cars are made in Britain every year, surely we should assume that 50,000 cars go off the road in the same year? We’d be wrong. At that rate, surely over 50 years, there would be more cars than people, more cars than roads, more cars than ground to cover. What is wrong with the world today? Whose logic dictates that we must constantly produce items for leisure, time saving, and transport. Does the amount of money made by car companies mirror the investment in Public transport, or do car companies have no interest in Public transportation? No because they seek only one thing: larger profits for their shareholders. Do these shareholders seek more money to plough into charities or public services? No they only need money to have more money, like power, money corrupts all those who it touches. People want to hoard it, to feel they’ve achieved something; money is a tangible measure, a simple system of tokens that show us how successful we are.
The Discombobulation Strikes Back...
Never in all my life have i found technology so confusing. i've just been round and round and round and round in circles trying to find my way back to here. I went to go look for it when i'd published by first writing but couldn't find it. It's gonna take me a week or two to get used to this.
Anyway, here are some interesting words i've written down. Some rhyme some don't, if you read it a few times you'll see more rhyme than don't but in incredibly complex ways.
The God of Logic
It’s always the same when I get close to someone, they look at me that way and my heart just seems to melt,
I get obsessed, I give up thinking about anything else,
My whole being starts to centre around that person, when they’re not around I think about them,
When they are I don’t know what to think, I know that if I ring them I’ll come across as desperate,
I know that if I don’t they’ll think that I don’t care, when I text I feel like I’m a psycho,
That they don’t understand where I’m coming from, I think about it all too much, my animal instincts gone, as a man I’m supposed to lead with my dick, my body tries it’s hardest, my mind takes over, slows me down, makes me stop and think,
But it’s all about nothing, trying to break down my programming, stop me from failing or even from trying, the outcome is always the same.
I never bother but instead just seem bothered, I never worry but instead am just worried, I never love just feel like I’ve lost, I’ve never dreamt or wished just because of the cost of failure, repercussion, responsibility,
I never listen because I’ve heard it all before, I never talk because it’s saying it once more,
I never love just seem to obsess, I only hate because it’s easier in the end.
Before we’ve even met I’ve run the whole relationship round and round my head, it was good don’t get me wrong, but in my head it’s just too long, from when I last saw you, til I can touch you again.
Throughout the universe, in all animal lives, they don’t have to cope with neuroses, paranoia, the insides of their minds,
Animals could teach us more than we’ll ever know, we think we’re something special, or so we tell each other so.
When I look into your eyes, sentences won’t form, but my mouth continues motoring, throwing out bullshit I don’t mean, what I mean and what I say are totally unconnected.
What I mean cannot be described, what I say cannot be believed.
Never in all my life have i found technology so confusing. i've just been round and round and round and round in circles trying to find my way back to here. I went to go look for it when i'd published by first writing but couldn't find it. It's gonna take me a week or two to get used to this.
Anyway, here are some interesting words i've written down. Some rhyme some don't, if you read it a few times you'll see more rhyme than don't but in incredibly complex ways.
The God of Logic
It’s always the same when I get close to someone, they look at me that way and my heart just seems to melt,
I get obsessed, I give up thinking about anything else,
My whole being starts to centre around that person, when they’re not around I think about them,
When they are I don’t know what to think, I know that if I ring them I’ll come across as desperate,
I know that if I don’t they’ll think that I don’t care, when I text I feel like I’m a psycho,
That they don’t understand where I’m coming from, I think about it all too much, my animal instincts gone, as a man I’m supposed to lead with my dick, my body tries it’s hardest, my mind takes over, slows me down, makes me stop and think,
But it’s all about nothing, trying to break down my programming, stop me from failing or even from trying, the outcome is always the same.
I never bother but instead just seem bothered, I never worry but instead am just worried, I never love just feel like I’ve lost, I’ve never dreamt or wished just because of the cost of failure, repercussion, responsibility,
I never listen because I’ve heard it all before, I never talk because it’s saying it once more,
I never love just seem to obsess, I only hate because it’s easier in the end.
Before we’ve even met I’ve run the whole relationship round and round my head, it was good don’t get me wrong, but in my head it’s just too long, from when I last saw you, til I can touch you again.
Throughout the universe, in all animal lives, they don’t have to cope with neuroses, paranoia, the insides of their minds,
Animals could teach us more than we’ll ever know, we think we’re something special, or so we tell each other so.
When I look into your eyes, sentences won’t form, but my mouth continues motoring, throwing out bullshit I don’t mean, what I mean and what I say are totally unconnected.
What I mean cannot be described, what I say cannot be believed.
...And you will know me by the trail of the depressed.
Welcome one and all to this my new weblog (or blog as all these techno-types like to call it!) I've never kept a diary, though i have tried on many occasions, i've never published my thoughts in this fashion, though i sing songs at people. It could be s**t, it could be great.
I'm only on here because my friend has one, and his is inspirational to me. I only hope when i'm getting going that i could bring something to other people the way he does through his writing.
If you end up here, then i am sorry there is not much to read follow this link until i get something written, worth reading.
Welcome one and all to this my new weblog (or blog as all these techno-types like to call it!) I've never kept a diary, though i have tried on many occasions, i've never published my thoughts in this fashion, though i sing songs at people. It could be s**t, it could be great.
I'm only on here because my friend has one, and his is inspirational to me. I only hope when i'm getting going that i could bring something to other people the way he does through his writing.
If you end up here, then i am sorry there is not much to read follow this link until i get something written, worth reading.
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