Would you credit it?

Would you? I wouldn't and goddamn i am not going to.

As soon as it was signed and in my wallet the whispering began. Not unlike the way i imagine The Ring talking to Frodo(The way i imagined it long before Mr. P Jackson of Fat Beardsville N.Z. rendered it 60ft tall, drab, long and obvious), those malicious yet beautiful murmurings, screams of pain becoming screaming orgasms.

Adverts looked different because of my new friend. Oh the possibilities! The cashpoint outside T**co's actually spoke to me. It said: "You haven't used me yet, not with your new friend, slip him in. Let me feel his lovely matt finish caress my lips, slide past and fill my mechanical maw. I wanna suck his virgin chip." Or something like that, it manifested itself in an incredible desire to withdraw cash. Fortunately for me though, i think i might be getting the hang of this sense thing, so i didn't draw any money. Phew!

But, my next task was to go round T**co's. Every product i looked at glowed with an aura, an aura that made my lower jaw slack and caused dribble to well up and cascade down my chin.

It was as if every single thing was mine, every product whether it were female sanitary products, goats cheese or even Bovril. I had a shopping list with me but what use was that now? A shopping list is there to limit you to what you need (or thats what i use mine for). With a list you get what you've written down and out of the 'super'market as fast as possible.

What need had i for a list now? I could buy anything... F**k it. I could buy everything. No matter what i bought i felt like it would sustain me. A trolley full of shoes would feed me for a month, surely? Oh joy! Oh to be one of the few happy people who see the world like this all the time...

But it's all a sham...

All of it...

And sadly that's how it works. It felt magical; like the first touch in foreplay or the realisation those chords work with that vocal line. Beautiful. Somehow i managed to control it. I escaped unscathed, my finances struggling back to finding their feet rather than one more huge step toward the oblivion of destitution. Ever Upward Comrades!


...That feeling though, of having that which i do not, being able to be that which i am not, the invulnerability afforded me by a small piece of plastic...