F**king Cars.

Lights. Stereo. Flat Battery!

Well 've definitely left my lights on. So at 7.35 or so when i stepped out into the blue-skied, snow covered world that this morning was York, i discovered my car was not likely to be moving anywhere for a few hours. Not without waking Luke and asking him to get up and come and help me jumpstart my car. Which i really don't want to do. Therefore i am resigned to a day off work. Ho-hum, what a b**ger.

Rearranged the living room last night to accomodate the fact we will soon have broadband. Yay! So i'll be able to write this, download some films, use the phone and buy some things online, all at the same time. What wonderful, magical technology must this be? I've always wanted to do loads of things at once! Well, staying within my multi-tasking as a man boundaries, at least. Maybe thinking about sex, downloading some porn, watching some, listening to a dirty phoneline and cocking my shotgun of love. Who says men can't multi-task, eh?

I Waffle. Almost continuously. Broadband, Yay! Don't please i implore you if you plan to get it choose an Alcatel external modem, or certainly not the one that comes with Fre**erve broadband. The telephone connection to the modem is actually into the thick modem cable, but it's really clode to the usb end. Which means that unless you buy a long telephone cable then the computer has to be really close to the socket. (Now heres the really daft bit.) The modem itself has a really long cable, so you could put the modem itself as far away as you like. Hang it on the wall perhaps and show it off as the lovely aquamarine, rubbery 'alienspaceship'like abhorance it really is. If our computer baseunit was the same hideous turquoise, globular design then it'd fit right in. Question for Alcatel: How many of your (actually anybody's) customers have base units that match the design of your modems?

I'd bet 5 or 6 more than F**k all!

Sadly, because the majority of people wouldn't know how to open their computer, let alone actually get inside it and change things, all these companies supply you with external modems, which from my limited experience are pooh. What's wrong with an internal modem? Are they too expensive, or is it the reason i give above that prevents ISP's from giving the customer aesthetic satisfaction?

Who cares? Not me. I've got a day off.